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so far, i’ve found this is the best type of exfoliation.

i went to the nature preserve with my extended, slightly dysfunctional chyler family : )

moss.

fairy land.

climbing in the tree : ) ah norah

flowers.

on sunday, (today..ps…i’m blogging a lot!! paha) we woke up and cooked food before we went to church. check out the pjs! : ) i was thankfully behind da camera..

[my belly is full of rolls.] after church we had scrumptious food.

and pie : )

good day. kudos to the cooks!

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favorite day; not stop snow in dallas??

my cute sis(:

my cute snowman(:

well, i have been a lousy blogger. that is the subject of this post. to put it bluntly, i’ve had no desire to “blog” in cyberspace where everyone can read my mess ups and bad mood swings. to put it romantically, life has been busy, emotionally, physically, and well, spiritually too, i guess. we are traveling for christmas. i feel sporadically held together, by gift wrap and scotch tape. my mind wanders terribly and as chupp can attest, i can’t really write on a piece of paper and make sense. “i had an urge to color a picture with markers…so much for doing laundry for lunch.” i am packing tonight (we leave tomorrow) for snow. oh dear me.

i float along like a kite, content to stop tugging at my strings for a while. for a  short while.

i love the candids my sister takes of me randomly. this is my favorite; a little glimpse into my world.

love,

somehow, the word frustration is beautiful. it can be said with however much angst needed and or deserves. lets define it.
 
i choose: “a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems”. and woah, “a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs” and from the medical dictionary, “The condition that results when an impulse or an action is thwarted by an external or an internal force or the blocking or a thwarting of an impulse, purpose, or action.”
 
dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression, insecurity, unresolved.
 
i am in need of that vice called a job, otherwise unfortunately known as money. the frustrated self inside of me is in a “deep chronic” state. this has been going on for months. this money situation extends to all areas of my life. i wish i could say, “screw bills!” but i can’t. there are phone bills and insurance bills. how old am i? eighteen. what is looming darkly on the horizon? students loans and college.
 
scholarships seem as silly as trying to bail out your sinking boat with a teaspoon. my dreams seem as silly as throwing little pebbles at a 50 foot wall hoping a hole will form. my dreams are as simple as eating a pomegranate on a window seat and as unattainable as catching the brownie that lives in the corners of your house. you need magical powers for it to work.
 
but, magic doesn’t exist.
 
i’m in the pits.

which means the beginning of the end..

i am legal!!

p.s. thats me right  there ^ :)

the other day I had a dream that a hero of mine came to my house and was sitting at my kitchen table. she was there with her dreads, her bright boho clothes and her husband. and of course her sweet little baby boy. we were just talking and I remember being so nervous and thinking about what I could make fast and I was explaining to my parents who this family was. my parents being old fashioned it was a little difficult to explain that I follow this wonderful lady’s blog and I have fallen in love with this family through the pictures and stories that she shares. weird? yes. wonderful? yes. I look at my kitchen table in a whole new light.

i think i would be more excited to meet this person than i would to meet the president.

(thought process)

president>government>government class>current events discussion>swine flu>swine flu vaccinations>flu vaccine>last week I got a flu shot and have been feeling pretty down..and this morning I went to the doctor to have this sore through I’ve got checked out. doctors visit today>work>germ-x>and today at work they’ll ask me how my weekend went and if I did anything exciting…which I did. I went to our homecoming dance and to the Fort Worth Stockyards with my family. I bought some salsa.

quote of the weekend:

“do you want to chew on my bones now?”
“no, we’ll save that for later.”

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18th birthday advetures of cally and melissa(:

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I feel my brain shutting down into minimalist mode again. I want to share current happenings but when I begin my mind begins to wander. Bear with me as I try to unwind the wad of string and pick out the random objects that are caught in my brain.

This is the first day the past week and a half that I have been fully aware what has been going on. Boston was a bunch of busy running around pretending that everyone knew what was happening. I miss people there. I made so many new friends. The circle of my friends at church expanded and now I fill up the entire break before bible fellowship giving hugs receiving hugs and talking. Hopefully no more standing around awkwardly. Even though awkwardness is my specialty. Tiredness was a given and allergies were a given, yet getting a bad cold along with more than one fever wasn’t. That was Sunday night. Yesterday afternoon I finally felt able to get out of the house (which I was dying to do). And today has been restlessness galore.

Things that are on my mind; my mind is a deep hole in the earth somewhere, with lots of living things crawling around in it and some dead ones decomposing in it; some flowers having roots in it, some weeds, and an old shoe.

You can see that it’s really no use and I will just ramble.

have you ever journalled in the shape of a tree?

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I’m sorry about the title. I have no idea what to but up there.

Topic: New things

Subtopic 1: Camera! I recently bought a Sony Cybershot 9.1 megapixels 15x zoom: love. I haven’t had much time to get to know it (I work a lot) but when I do I will let you know what I name it.

Subtopic 2: Sadly, Leopold is the only fish that is still alive. He eats enough for four fish though and makes indecent smacking noises in his bowl.

Subtopic 3: Amy came home for the weekend and brought 4 awesome hilarious people with her. Cat (a january MI) is the reason for the title of the previous post and the new favorite starbucks drink. I love her.

Subtopic 4: I am going to Boston (yes, Boston!) Friday morning. It is a choir mission trip. Hence the three hour rehearsal Tuesday….I absolutley love my choir and the people and the friends and the jokes. Tons of pictures to come.

Subtopic 5: I am in a folk band called Bumbler and Puesdo the Singing Cookbook.

Note: My mind is incapable of typing fast, thinking fast, and thinking with out it being outlined in to topics and subtopics. I can think like that or in black and white or likethiswhichisstrangelyrelaxingwhenyoudon’thavetoworryaboutpuncutation.

Or in song: “You say goodbye and I say hello.”