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is there anything as dangerous than being understood? all the more so, as there is no such thing. you are always misunderstood. you think you are not lonely but in actual fact you are even more lonely.
nothing has been created without loneliness. i have created a loneliness for myself which nobody can see. it is very difficult nowadays to be on your own, because there are clocks and watches. have you ever seen a saint with a watch? i have never been able to find any, not even among those patron saints of the watchmakers.
braque said to me once “deep down you’ve always loved classical beauty.” that is true. it was then, and still is. people don’t invent a new kind of beauty every year.

And when I look to the shape of the sky,
I give thanks for this hollow chest of mine,
that I no longer feel, the great weight of ordeals,
that can make this life so unkind

If there’s any love in me, don’t let it show,
oh and if there’s any love in me, don’t let it grow.

I wanted to embed this music video but it won’t let me, sadly.

but watch that one! that is what this post is about. then watch the other one.

here is another one thats equally awesome.

that one will surprise you i think :)

chupp, you know what i’m talking about.

i was accepted to Taylor University!!!!!!!!!!!! (!!!!!!!!)

*jumps up and down*

there are so many hidden topics in this conversation i had with my friend on my phone. including: resolutions, feeling, new year, males, love, music and art and inspiration and all the while i was drawing something that i see as fantastic, while i listened to amy seeley, while i cleansed from bawling my eyes out. so here it is. you won’t understand it, but i have to share its briliance. (beginning with my friend & ending with me)

-i do understand, i do. getting sleep always helps me though. you want your body to mirror your mind, if only for a while.
-well, tomorrow will happen. i’m looking forward to it. i have nothing to do, but at least that will always change
-what is tomorrow?
-nothing, just a new day and a change from today.
-“give me new, give me thrill, kill the cliche, forget a hero to dave the day” it seems fitting
-i like that. right now, i’m sort of cleansing myself by listening to my favorite music and drawing. you inspire.
-i suggest regina spektor. do you listen to her?
-yes absolutely.
-she is almost idol worthy (forgive me god!) do you listen to the yeah yeah yeahs?
-haven’t listened to those. but i love finding new music.
-check them out(:
-i always check out the people you tell me to. you know, what, random, but i need to find myself another guy. pronto. even an awesome friend that’ll talk to me.
-eek! slippery path! don’t rush, or the catharsis he provides will make you like him
-very. true. i just want a different guy to step into my life. cause i’m wasting my time with the old ones. i’m not meaning to be desperate for a guy. just forNEW.
-i know how you feel. new boys. new adventure,new clothes,new chance.
-i kinda feel like i was wishing for this ‘new year’ to be a new chance. yet the past three days have been me living in the past more than ever.
-a date never means an emotional divorce. you need closure love
-i think my ‘resolution’ should be to find that closure
-that seems like a good one(: hes going to to say something to you, or you’re going to have an epiphany, and then hes going to bore, and even disgust you a little bit.
-yeah, you put it so eloquently, yet again.